No One Cares

Weekly Reading Topic for October 12, 2019: No One Cares

Well, good morning, love!

I just opened a Reading for you, my newsletter subscribers and here’s what I heard in answer to the following:

What do my readers most need to hear this weekend? What is the most important message to send to my beloved readers?

The answer was: “No One Cares”

What follows is your Weekly Reading.

Weekly Reading │ No One Cares

Q: Whoa … what does that mean, “No One Cares?”

A: No One Cares means several different things, all distinct yet intersectional.

First, it literally means no one cares.

At least, not the way you think they do. Or not in the manner you think they do. Or not for the reasons you think they do.

You may have heard this wise advice before: “don’t worry so much about what other people think of you. The truth is, they don’t.”

We often think that other people are obsessing about our faults and flaws the way we do. Nope. Not even your most interested, attentive loved ones are obsessing about you the way you often assume they are.

No one cares. At least, not that much.

We’re all in our own heads, attending to our own thoughts.

So, the first meaning of no one cares is something like “For other people, it’s not all about you. It’s only all about you for YOU.”

And of course, it’s all about THEM for THEM.

Here’s another meaning: no one cares is a way to say that what’s important to you is important to you precisely because you are YOU, and expecting anyone else to care about what is important to you as much as you care about what is important to you is, well, silly.

No one cares. Not like you do.

So if you think that the environment is dying and we should all be tearing our hair out and marching in the streets, well, you might be 100% correct — we should. But most of us won’t join you.

Because some of us are really concerned about child sex trafficking, and about the tsunami of child pornography that slams the dark web every day, every day, every day, in ever greater numbers. And we just can NOT BELIEVE that the rest of you are so insanely focused on theoretical risks when there are CHILDREN being HURT every single day, over and over.

And then there are those who think both you and me are crazy for even THINKING about those things because don’t we realize that the healthcare/education/law enforcement structures are totally out of whack?

Or that the threat from extremists is something we should be paying closer attention to?

Or the way that small businesses are being squeezed on every side?

Or that I don’t have enough money to pay my rent?

Or that my boss is harassing me?

Or that I’m only six and I can’t fight back when someone hurts me?

Everyone has their own passionate stances on issues. (And some choose to be cynical about all issues, which is a passionate stance in itself.)

And everyone thinks everyone else is ignoring REALITY, and OBVIOUSLY DON’T CARE ENOUGH.

Which is true. No one cares. No one cares about what is important to YOU the way you do.

And of course, you don’t care about what is important to anyone else the way that they do!

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And here’s another meaning for no one cares: No one cares about the rules you think are so hard and fast, the norms and conventions you stick to because you think you have to in order to fit into polite society.

No one cares. Not that much.

Walk backwards down the street for half a block and see how many people even notice.

Don’t bother to smile at the person who’s knocking on your door to ask you for a donation to a good cause, even if you decide to give money.

Or smile at the cashier who’s clearly uninterested in her work, at least today, and tell her a cheesy joke.

Talk to the person at the next table at the restaurant. Or, if you live in a super-social culture, bury your nose in a book.

Take a vow of silence once in a while, for a whole day. Make up little post-its that say “I took a vow of silence for today” and give them to people when they talk to you.

No one cares that much, not really. Some do, and sure, some things should be done. Don’t try the vow of silence with a cop who just pulled you over for speeding.

Don’t speed, either. Be safe.

But don’t think that anyone is really watching YOU and judging YOU. If they do, it passes within a second or two. Just like it passes for you, too, when you notice someone who is behaving a little out of the norm. You notice, and then you go back to your laundry list of complaints about your life, or thinking about your next meal, or thinking about what’s going to happen on the season finale of Succession this weekend.

(That last line may just apply to me.)

Because, really? No one cares when we color outside the lines. Not that much, anyway.

So why are we looking at this, this weekend? Because this is a powerful time. This weekend the stars are aligning and dancing with each other in ways that both challenge and support each other.

The energy is like this: a family that hasn’t been dealing with something big finally starts to. There’s a lot of tension created by speaking the truth, finally, about something important. But there’s also a release of tension, too, as everyone realizes they have a lot to say on the subject. And then there’s also this sweet tender realization that “we’re all ok because we really love each other.”

It’s a really sweet time, ultimately. And there is a real possibility that someone very smart comes up with a great solution to whatever the brewing issue may be.

But you can’t take full advantage of it unless you plunge into the weekend with a soul-deep understanding that No One Cares.

No one cares about how awkward, weird, oddly shaped, or inarticulate you are.

No one cares about your pet issues as much as you do, or in the way you think they should.

And no one cares that much about what you do. Not really.

Having these realizations firmly in place BEFORE the drama starts can really help us to see what’s going on. We can see who’s pet issues are demanding attention, and maybe even give a little attention to them.

We can see where someone feels insecure, and reassure them.

We can give people permission to be themselves, as they are, and cut them some slack when they don’t quite toe the line.

And we can do that for ourselves. Over and over, I’m getting the same message these days:

There is NO ONE LIKE YOU.

You are more in charge than you realize.

And you can relax into yourself and give yourself what you need most.

Slip into your life this weekend like your entering a river on an inner tube. Climb down to the river’s edge, your tube held firmly to your seat. Wade into the water, letting the chill climb your calves and tingle your knees.

Feel the current pressing at your legs and let it set you back, plopping you into the center of your tube, your feet and fingers trailing in the water. Relax, because the ride gets better and better and better and better and better the more you relax.

Let the current carry you and bob you and weave you and spin you a little. When you see the tiny steps of waterfalls, relax even more, because the water knows better than you how to navigate that little gravity drop.

Enjoy the motion and the warmth of the sun and the cool of the river, and if you get tired of it all, flutter a hand a little and maybe kick if you need to so you drift to the side of the river, where the shallows are, where the reeds ripple and the stones of the riverbed show themselves to the sun. Let yourself rest, and when you are ready, give a kick off the riverbed and float back to the middle to the strong and steady current.

Let yourself relax and enjoy your life. Because No One Cares about it as much as you do. And your love, your care, your attention is your job. No one cares about your stuff the way you do, which leaves you free to care as much as you want. And it also lets you off the hook when it comes to US … it’s our job to deal with our own little mental dramas, our passions, our faults — not yours.

We are all so unique, and this is not to make us feel alone. It’s because there are so many things to do, feel, and experience in the human body on planet earth that we couldn’t possibly Do It All. So we had to become multitudes to get it all done!

Here we are, on our own lovely unique adventures, together. So while you float, have compassion for yourself and your float. Have compassion, while you’re at it, for others on their own floats. Because really, No One Cares about the drama, but we all care about each other. And we feel that truth most when we relax and float, watching the birds fly overhead and feeling the slip of the water, inextricably connected by this weird, rushing river experience we call being human.

I am always here to serve in any way I can.

Much Love to You,

Molly

PS: Thank you for sharing this with anyone who could use it!

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